My Superhero

Grayson, my two-year-old grandson, hasn't voluntarily worn a stitch of clothing since late last September.  The fateful day occurred when his family went the Disney store to pick up Halloween outfits.  It was right then that he discovered his new passion in fashion:  COSTUMES!  He walked into that store as Grayson but left as Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.

The first costume

Generally, his ensemble includes fingerless gloves, green rubber boots and, for special occasions, wings that attach to the back with Velcro. At first it was all Buzz, all the time but as the days turned into weeks, he expanded his repertoire to include Spiderman and Ironman.  Now his wardrobe also boasts The Hulk and Wolverine.

Wolverine at the Zoo

Spidey is a favorite

Even his pjs are costumes

The last time I visited, he was running around inside wearing just a pair of spidey undies which he had on backwards so he could see the picture.

"Aren't you cold?"  I asked.

"Yes," he replied.

"Want to get dressed?"

"Where's my costume?" he eyed me suspiciously.

As I was helping him into his Ironman outfit, I said, "Grayson, you are my secret superhero."
He faintly smiled as he paused a minute to give this statement some thought.  Then, he raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me more," he said.

www.StillSwimmingUpstream.com

Hand-me-downs

It's no secret that I'm a thrift shop Mama and it was no surprise when my daughter handed me a bag of clothes and said, "Look through this and then donate what you don't want."  Yesterday I gathered a bunch of dishes to take to the animal shelter resale shop and finally looked into the bag.  It contained four tee-shirts.

Three of the four new tee-shirts

I eyed the first tee-shirt.  It was striped and the dominant color was neon pink.  So far I liked it.  Then I tried it on.  I liked it a lot.  It was in perfect shape!  I got kind of excited.  It fit better than if I'd have purchased it myself and it was preshrunk, soft and light.  Perfect!  The other tees were more subdued but not less delightful.  They all felt luxurious.  In my closet, they'd found their new home.

I called Kate and I was babbling with delight, going on and on about how much I liked the castoffs.  Finally she interrupted:  "Mom," she said.  "I sent those for Dad.  They were Jason's."

When I win the lottery, I'm going to hire that boy as my own personal shopper.

This I know

I never quite "got" E=MC² (or how to make a flat chocolate chip cookie) but here are a few things I did discover:

If I hold a baby over my head, I will get spit-up in my face.

No matter how cute the clothes are that I buy for my daughters, they won't like them.

If I am in a hurry to leave the house, I won't be able to find my car keys, my shoes, or my car keys and my shoes.

No one can accurately predict the weather.

If I wash the windows, it will rain - even if there's been a drought for months. (See above.)

If the new house has a swimming pool, you will feed all the kids in the neighborhood lunch every single day for the whole summer.

No one drops by to visit when the house is clean.

It is possible to have acne and wrinkles at the same time.

Although it takes months for me to lose five pounds, I can gain it back virtually overnight.

I always feel better the minute I step into my doctor's office.

Once we get in the car, my husband won't want to stop FOR ANY REASON until we get to our destination.Even if we only get invited out one evening a season, we will receive three invitations for that very night.

Kids think of handwriting as an irritating font that's difficult to read.

As soon as I put the last item into my grocery cart, everyone in the entire store will swarm to the check-out lanes.

If I have computer problems, any elementary school child can fix them.If I get a manicure this morning, I will end up gardening this afternoon.

Cashiers at gas stations don't like you to pay with change.This is by no means the sum total of my knowledge, but I didn't acquire any of it at school. I'm not saying that learning to use a slide rule wasn't important, I'm merely stating that it would have been nice to learn to balance the checkbook somewhere in that educational process.

If a cute guy smiles at me, I probably have broccoli stuck in my teeth.