Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Queen

I do not live in a monarchy but if I did, I already know what role I would fulfill.  I would be queen.

I know this because years ago I was given a crown of my dentist.  Well, technically I paid for it.  (We all know that even the best health insurance will only cover a small portion of the cost of dental restoration.)  But let's not quibble!  The point here is that I possess a golden crown and I never even take it off (like some other queens who will remain nameless.)  I wear my crown 24/7. 

As a rule, people never notice my crown because it's way in the back of my mouth.  It would be easy enough to show off and point it out but I don't.  I don't have to.  I know I'm a queen whether anyone else realizes it or not.  On days when I'm feeling especially regal and want the whole world to see it, I wear my tiara.  Most of the time though, I just live my life as a queen incognito. 

I have been living the dream now for many years; I don't brag about it though because that wouldn't behoove a queen.  We queens don't need to brag.  Being a queen is enough in and of itself.

For years my husband has led a happy and productive life as a prince consort ~ or so I thought.  Lately I have become suspicious.  I've noticed that he's been going to the dentist a lot these past weeks.  In my innocence, I thought that he'd already met his yearly deductible and wanted to max out his dental benefits before 2012 ended.  That seemed like a fiscally prudent thing to do, right? Then yesterday - just two days into the new year -he went to the dentist and came home with his own crown.  Is he attempting a coup?

He says that this crown is only temporary and that he waited until 2013 to get it because insurance will pay more toward it.  I'm not sure. What if this is just an ingenious cover story?  I'm keeping my eye on him.  In a couple of weeks he'll get his permanent crown and then the world will see if it's gold or if it's an ordinary white one (which, in my mind, befits the station of a prince consort.) 

Until then I'm on high alert.  He's going to have to taste all my food before I eat it and if I catch him trying on my tiara when he thinks I'm not looking, mark my words: there will be hell to pay.

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