Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Excitement on an Airplane

Last week, I posted a story about going to Ohio to our friend Chris' wedding. Getting there was another story.  Of course we obviously did, so that's a happy ending, but if you've ever flown you can totally sympathize with our angst because of our pilot's lack of bedside manner.

Here are the texts of the actual event.  It's a study in everything a pilot should not say:








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Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Our Breakfast Surprise

THE MAN'S STORY:

I'm thinking about an old buddy - a guy I used to work with in two different companies  - and feeling kind of bad that I haven't kept in touch. This friend lives in South Carolina and hasn't visited Northeast Ohio in years.

I hit the gym early and decide to grab breakfast in Boston Heights to catch up on some paperwork before I start my work day. I sit down at a corner booth and begin writing. The table directly in front of me is vacant.

Soon someone is seated. I look up and there is a couple talking to their waitress. The man looks kind of like the very guy I was just thinking of and I begin to entertain the idea of covertly snapping a pic on my cell and sending it to my friend.


THE COUPLE'S STORY:

We once lived in Hudson, OH, and arrived yesterday to attend the wedding of our friend and former next-door neighbor.  Our schedule is packed.  We are trying to cram seeing as many people as possible into a few day's time. The woman we'd planned on visiting this morning ended up taking a quick trip to California so this is the only block of free time we have in this entire trip. We decide to go to Boston Heights and eat a leisurely breakfast at this fun place we used to enjoy on Saturday mornings.  

I was poking around, taking my old sweet time getting ready when my husband urged me to hurry up.  I thought to myself, "Why? We have all morning," but I finished quickly and we were on our way.

A few minutes later, we enter the restaurant.  Little has changed in the years since we last dined there.  We normally choose a booth and there are plenty available today but for some reason when the hostess asks where we want to sit, we say we don't care so she puts us at the table directly in front of this handsome guy who is looking down, quietly writing.

The waitress greets us. 


OUR HOLLYWOOD ENDING:

The man at the table hears the couple speak to the waitress.  He gets up, walks over and says, “May I join you?”


THE WRAP UP:

That is how we ended up having breakfast with an old friend that we hadn't planned on seeing, during a time we didn't know we'd be available, in a city where we normally wouldn't even have been.  Coincidence?  I prefer to think otherwise.


Jerry and Dave enjoying breakfast

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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Descriptions

Be nice!

Remember how your mother used to say, "If you can't say something good about someone, don't say anything at all?"

Here's a handy list of word substitutions to use when describing me.  

Sometimes I like to pretend
I'm Cher and try on wigs.
Instead of:                   Use:

Old                           Seasoned
Nosy                         Inquisitive
Cheap                       Thrifty
Talkative                   Articulate
Short                        Short (Because I am.)
Bossy                        Assertive
Wired                        Energetic
Self-Centered             Free-Spirited
Rude                         Sassy
Irresponsible              Carefree
Odd                           Eccentric
Loud                          Enthusiastic
Weird                         Quirky


Thank-you.  I feel better already.




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Thursday, March 5, 2015

The Dress

Jerry and I married when we were mere children and so we've grown up together. Over the years, we've come to see pretty much everything eye-to-eye.

Or not.

I first saw THE DRESS on my FACEBOOK feed on Friday afternoon. The caption read: What Color is this Dress? The first comment was from a famous Hollywood actress. She said, “It's white with gold trim, you idiots!”

The dress I was looking at was far from white but this actress is a gifted comedy writer so I thought she was joking. 

The DRESS kept popping up everywhere all day long. Later I heard it even made the evening news. Same picture - a vivid blue dress with black trim that some people were saying was white. Is this an “Emperor's New Clothes” thing? I mean, come on! How can anyone mistake white for blue?

Our youngest daughter sent us a text. “I have seen this dress 300 times today and it's WHITE and GOLD!”  What?

It was then I began to believe that two entirely different pictures were being circulated, same dress - one blue and one white. That's easier than thinking something's wrong with your own child's eyesight.  I asked her to text me the picture she was looking at.  She did.

When Jer got home from work, he said, “What was Kate talking about?” After I told him, he said he hadn't seen THE DRESS and so Kate shared the picture with the entire family.

Jer looked at the photo. “It's white and gold,” he said. I thought he was kidding which annoyed him and he began trying to convince me that the dress was not blue. “The dress is white, Chris. White like the woodwork. White like our sheets. White like a blank sheet of paper.” 

By now I GET that he sees THE (blue) DRESS as white. Both our daughters agree. But to me (and my son and daughter-in-law) it's blue - and not a sweet, pastel, baby blue either. It's vibrant, vivid, bright blue.  My husband was unable to persuade me that THE (blue) DRESS that I was seeing with my own eyes was white, but I admire him for trying.

The upside of THE (blue) DRESS question was that we'd spent so much time discussing it that it was way past our normal suppertime. We were hungry so we decided to eat out. (Yay.)

We were at the restaurant waiting to be seated when we realized the young couple behind us was arguing about the color of THE (blue) DRESS.
Best to find out early in your relationship that there are some things you are never gonna agree on.

And that's okay.

                             
                                                         * * *


If you are among the roughly 27 people in America (or the U.K.) who didn't see the photo of THE (blue) DRESS, here it is. 


(Photo:  Swiked/Tumblr)

Interestingly, those who seem to see THE (blue) DRESS as white/gold are early birds and the blue/black group are night owls.  This is from research I, myself, conducted by scientifically polling five people.




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