Friday, July 10, 2020

The Support Desk

The following is an actual response I received from the Support Desk of TikTok yesterday. I emailed them that when I created my account, I accidentally clicked 2019 as my birth year.  Ever since my oldest grandson casually mentioned to me that I was born "in the last century," I'm not crazy about revealing my actual year of birth.  And why it would matter when I only want to watch one-minute cleaning videos, I cannot fathom.

Your TikTok Support Inquiry: Case ID [6195685]


Vinxern (Support) via 

Thu, Jul 9, 11:08 PM (12 hours ago)
to me
##- Please type your reply above this line -##
Thank you for contacting us, and sorry for the inconvenience you 
are experiencing.
In order to help us verify and review your account, please provide 
a form of identification that includes your name, age, and photo 
(such as a driver's license or passport). You may also provide a 
school identification.
Please cover any other personal information besides name, age, 
and photo. Identification will be used to verify your age.
TikTok Support Team
My Response to their response:

If you just look at my neck, you can see I’m well over 21. Necks are a dead give away.  I write a humor blog: and I’m fairly jazzed that I was cleverly able to supply you with this link — which shows you how old I really am because I’m virtually certain the grandson I'm holding in this picture could easily do that.  HE probably could navigate your website, too. 

I know I’m not your target audience.  Frankly you’re not my target destination either; I prefer whiling away my free time scrolling through Pinterest, pinning vegan ice cream recipes that I’m never going to make.  Here’s the thing though, my daughter - the one who got married on Zoom not the one who has a house full of children (and for ID purposes, she, too, is also far older than someone born in 2019) - texted me seven videos of a gal giving one-minute cleaning tips and I wanted to see them. I NEEDED to see them. Trust me on this.  She did not think I could do that without an account. Turns out I can’t to it WITH an account either. 

Enjoying your app is not paramount to my happiness (and I don’t perceive myself shooting crazy videos with my pet hermit crabs, but stranger things have happened) still, you need to know that it’s impossible for actual adult adults to navigate your site, if my experience is the norm. All I saw was a dog video (even tho I specifically did not mark pets as an area of interest), four boys singing “Cuma Lotta Vista” (actually a song I knew from Girl Scout camp in the former century) and a black screen that said I’d "come to the end of my content." I could not use the links my daughter texted - each time it went to the dog until it eventually arrived at the black screen.  Sometimes I found a small list of videos I could access but they were mainly videos of cats. My family sends plenty of videos of cats I actually know so I'm not that interested in feline antics of the cat unknown.  No hard feelings, Felix.

I fiddled around on your site way longer than I should have.  Again, it seems impossible for the elderly (and yes, that is an offensive term) to navigate your website. Maybe, just maybe, that’s a good thing.

Enjoy your weekend, kids.

You need a copy of my passport or driver's license?  I think not, my friends.  My husband said that TikTok originates in China and to delete this account.  He told me to take cleaning advice from my friend Ila.  

I did that. Ila's advice was to get a cleaning lady.  

I love my life.  


shirley said...

I think your direct deposit information along with your password (wouldn't want to be disturbed unnecessarily) will work instead of the above.

Kathie Aldum said...

Oh that is just hilarious! I’m not tik tokking either, yet the time is fleeting! Sadly I would join but no one of my friends are on there - except you! (Or not)

Mathew Paust said...

Funny funny! I'm very leery online when some company I'm not familiar with, that looks suspicious, wants any of my sacred numbers. I've hear of Tic Toc, but that's all. If it's based in China, no thanks.