The Dress

Jerry and I married when we were mere children and so we've grown up together. Over the years, we've come to see pretty much everything eye-to-eye.

Or not.

I first saw THE DRESS on my FACEBOOK feed on Friday afternoon. The caption read: What Color is this Dress? The first comment was from a famous Hollywood actress. She said, “It's white with gold trim, you idiots!”

The dress I was looking at was far from white but this actress is a gifted comedy writer so I thought she was joking. 

The DRESS kept popping up everywhere all day long. Later I heard it even made the evening news. Same picture - a vivid blue dress with black trim that some people were saying was white. Is this an “Emperor's New Clothes” thing? I mean, come on! How can anyone mistake white for blue?

Our youngest daughter sent us a text. “I have seen this dress 300 times today and it's WHITE and GOLD!”  What?

It was then I began to believe that two entirely different pictures were being circulated, same dress - one blue and one white. That's easier than thinking something's wrong with your own child's eyesight.  I asked her to text me the picture she was looking at.  She did.

When Jer got home from work, he said, “What was Kate talking about?” After I told him, he said he hadn't seen THE DRESS and so Kate shared the picture with the entire family.

Jer looked at the photo. “It's white and gold,” he said. I thought he was kidding which annoyed him and he began trying to convince me that the dress was not blue. “The dress is white, Chris. White like the woodwork. White like our sheets. White like a blank sheet of paper.” 

By now I GET that he sees THE (blue) DRESS as white. Both our daughters agree. But to me (and my son and daughter-in-law) it's blue - and not a sweet, pastel, baby blue either. It's vibrant, vivid, bright blue.  My husband was unable to persuade me that THE (blue) DRESS that I was seeing with my own eyes was white, but I admire him for trying.

The upside of THE (blue) DRESS question was that we'd spent so much time discussing it that it was way past our normal suppertime. We were hungry so we decided to eat out. (Yay.)

We were at the restaurant waiting to be seated when we realized the young couple behind us was arguing about the color of THE (blue) DRESS.
Best to find out early in your relationship that there are some things you are never gonna agree on.

And that's okay.

                             
                                                         * * *


If you are among the roughly 27 people in America (or the U.K.) who didn't see the photo of THE (blue) DRESS, here it is. 

(Photo:  Swiked/Tumblr)

Interestingly, those who seem to see THE (blue) DRESS as white/gold are early birds and the blue/black group are night owls.  This is from research I, myself, conducted by scientifically polling five people.

www.StillSwimmingUpstream.com

Before the Rooster Crows

Every working day of my married life, my husband Jerry has gotten up well before the rooster crows, taken a quick shower, downed an iced tea and headed off to work.  (I believe he kisses me goodbye before he leaves the house, but I wouldn't swear to it.)  He arrives at his destination several hours before work officially begins.  A creature of habit, he likes his morning routine.  He says his schedule offers many advantages:  he beats the traffic; he has time alone at work to answer emails, tie up yesterday's loose ends and plan today's agenda.  

I have a morning routine that I like too, it's just happens later than Jerry's does.  A lot later.  I awaken when I'm done sleeping, then I get up and go for a walk, usually with my friend Mary Ann.  I then come home and start my day, sometimes eating breakfast at the same time my husband is having lunch.   While he feels most alert and energized in the early morning, my most creative time is hours after that and so we have arranged our lives accordingly. 

This year, I've had the dubious pleasure of leaving the house prior to my          husband's departure twice already and it's only February.  This has shattered several items on my long list of 'nevers.' (I never do this...I never do that...I never brush my teeth with cortisone cream - that one was an accident.  All tubes feel the same when you're fumbling around in the dark.)

The first event was a health fair where I ran smack dab into another night owl out of her element.  She was dressed in a nurse's uniform trying to blend in but I recognized her as one of my own.  "How?"  I knew because I complimented her on her glasses which turned out to be new.  As she was telling me about where she got them, she looked right at my bespectacled face and sweetly said, "Do you wear glasses?"  BINGO! That was a classic night owl blunder.  (Thank GOD it was after she'd drawn my blood!)  We both burst out laughing, which, when I think about it, might have actually frightened the others in the room who were waiting for their turn at the vampire's table.    

The next occasion I had to sally forth into the pre-dawn was of my own choosing.  I decided to join Toastmasters.  It was a New Year's resolution but it took the entire month of January before I was actually able to get up in time to make the 7:00 a.m. meeting.

Since I didn't know exactly where the Toastmasters met, I felt the need to leave the house forty-five minutes early to allow for traffic and the inevitable "getting lost three times" that always accompanies me whenever I drive anywhere.  I set my alarm for 5:30 but woke a half an hour early.  Because I was so excited, I had had trouble falling asleep the night before, so I was working with about three and a half hours' sleep.  I was beginning to understand why people find drinking  coffee so charming.

It was lucky that I had allowed extra time because when I got outside, my car was covered in a layer of frost.  Normally it would have been burned off by the sun but the sun wasn't up yet.  Instead, there was a big, beautiful full moon and the bright lights of cars and city. 

If this is sunrise, Jerry took the picture

I'm a big fan of sunsets and thought that one of the perks of getting up at an ungodly hour was that I'd have an opportunity to see the sunrise but it was even too early for that.  I arrived at my destination in the dark.

During Toastmasters time, the sun rose without me but I still couldn't take advantage of Charlotte shopping because it was too early for the stores to be open.  (Who knew?)  Prime-time rush hour was now occurring but good fortune smiled upon me because my drive was in the opposite direction of the wolf pack. Then, in the distance, I witnessed something I haven't seen in years: yellow buses picking little kids up for school. 

Even children were now up and ready for their day to begin.  Not me though.  All I could think of was, "If I hurry home, I can take a nap before breakfast."


  

Vacuuming

I have a wonderful Oreck vacuum that we bought at the Habitat for Humanity Restore for thirty-five dollars.  Jerry installed new brushes and it's almost as good as new.  Almost. It vacuums fairly well and is feather light, so I can carry it up and down the stairs with only one hand.   The only problem is that when I turn it on, it sounds like an airplane is taking off in the room, so I wear an industrial set of ear muffs like the guys on the runway wear.  When I have them on, I can hear only blissful silence.

I vacuum a lot, especially very early in the morning.  So if you call me at, say, 8:15 a.m. for example, (well, any time before 10:00 a.m. really) I'm not in bed asleep, I'm vacuuming. 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.