Stylin'

2013 is MY YEAR!!  Oh, YES, it SO IS!!  Good things have been happening to me right and left already and my newest thrill is from, of all places, the fashion industry!  Being in style never happens to me.  Never.  Not ever.  Neverrrrrr....

I have this vivid memory from sixth-grade when my friend asked me an uncomfortable question which still haunts me to this day: "Would you rather be stylish or comfortable?" 

What?!?  Thanks a lot Bev.  That question ended my childhood innocence, BAM!  Until that moment, I hadn't realized that dressing was an "either/or" proposition.  I couldn't take the pressure.  I didn't even answer her.  Over the years though, as I 'passed' on miniskirts, stilettos, noodle straps and even Spanx, I fell solidly into the "comfort camp" by default.  (Decades of horrifying photos featuring questionable wardrobe choices verify this decision.  In my defense though, I'm rarely cold.)


Stylin' in my vintage skimmers

Back to my little kiss from the fashion gods.  This year they decreed, and I quote "The ankle skimmer is the key trouser length to try this season."  That's RIGHT, people.  Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, the new IN length in pants in 2013 just grazes the ankle!! I AM IN STYLE!!  Nobody who knows me would have ever guessed that THIS day would come!!  Hallelujah!

To think that I was SECONDS away from DONATING my high-water pants (the target audience of my largess being chubby third-graders) when I happened upon that advertisement in the Sunday paper!  Now my jeans have morphed into SKIMMERS, "the trouser length to try this season."  As an added plus, I don't even have to go shopping for any.  My closet is full of pants that I shrank in the dryer.  I am GOOD to GO!!!

Just for this one season, I CAN have comfort and style!!  How about THAT, Bev?

Wrinkles

"I do so hate wrinkles" my mother-in-law said to me in the late '70s.  It was during the permanent press craze when all you had to do was shake the leisure suits out and hang them up right out of the dryer.  Her statement amused me because I didn't hate wrinkles.  I didn't even notice them.  I was too busy chasing children and worrying about if my bikini made my butt look fat. 

Times have changed.  I don't have to wonder any more how my butt looks in my swimsuit because I already know.  I'm about the age my mother-in-law was when she uttered the wrinkle statement and now I get it.  These days I actually iron tee shirts and linen pants upset me on several levels.

I refuse to buy myself any clothes that say 'dry clean only' on the labels.  I don't want any garment enough to drive it somewhere, drop it off, wait a couple of days, drive back, pay, then drive back home again.  That's too much effort.

I am, however, the first one to run to the car and rush dress shirts to the laundry.  $1.65 per shirt seems a cheap enough price to pay to stay out of divorce court.  Jerry gets grouchy when he has to iron his own shirts and even grouchier when I iron them.  (Ironing is not one of my gifts.)  It's far from win-win at home but, for a small fee, we can keep this item out of the marital spat arena -- and we have enough issues in there already, ya know?

Since dry cleaning and dress shirts are off the table, the prima donnas in my laundry world are those garments that say, "Machine wash, gentle, lay flat to dry."  They are the bane of laundry day for me.  Half the time, I throw them in the dryer by accident.  They end up being dried to a crisp and come out looking like misshapen Barbie clothes. 

Vibrant orange, anyone?
Check out the shoes!

Even when I do wade into the laundry stream and rescue fragile clothing between the washer and the dryer, the 'lay flat to dry' part is still left.  Here in Humidity Village, SC, if you leave something out long enough for it to air dry, you've also left it damp long enough for it to smell sour, thus negating the entire washing process.

I bet you I could buy vintage polyester leisure suits on eBay.  Do you think Jerry would look better in baby yellow or powder blue?