Weight Loss Success?

This past Easter I made the decision to stop eating refined sugar.  It's hard to believe, but after about three weeks cravings stopped and fruits and veggies began to taste delicious.  I know it's shallow, but as the weight melted off, I felt proud.

Last evening I was playing on the floor with my grandson when he poked me in the stomach like I was the Pillsbury Doughboy.  This angelic look came over him as he said, "Grammy, is there a baby in your tummy?"

"Pride cometh before a fall."

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The New Year's Weigh-in

Some years ago I started the (evil) tradition of weighing everyone in the family on New Year's Day and then recording it on the calendar.  The children have grown; the tradition remains for those of us left in the house: the husband and me.

There are two schools of thought on weighing yourself, those who swear that you should weigh yourself every day and those who follow my son's philosophy, "Nothing good ever comes from stepping on the scales."  I get that obsessing over weight isn't the healthiest of behaviors, but I can't resist weighing myself in the morning any more than I can resist eating a tootsie roll out of the candy bowl at the post office.  

Two years ago after reading Dr. Rob Thompson's book, Glycemic Load Diet*, Jerry & I decided to make some changes in what we eat. In a nutshell, we cut out five foods: potatoes, rice, flour, pop and fruit juice.  It was surprisingly easy.  The weight just melted off…..Jerry.  Me?  Not so much. 

Fast forward to today:  Jerry, who wasn't even fat to begin with, has reduced his cholesterol AND gotten rid of his beer belly.  He looks twenty years younger.    The New Year's Day weigh-in was a delight for him.  "I haven't weighed THIS in DECADES!"  He squealed with joy like a teenage girl.  (Okay, maybe I made that squealing part up.  Jealousy is an ugly emotion.)

When it was my turn, I weighed myself.  Then I took off all my clothes.  Wearing only my birthday suit, I weighed myself again.  I actually weighed more the second time.  I gained .4 pounds in two seconds.  My suspicions have been confirmed -- I can gain weight just breathing. I decided not to weigh myself a third time.

The good news is that overall, I lost four pounds last year.  And, since 2011, I've shed ten pounds.  Jerry, the superstar, is down twenty-six.  

As much as I wish these figures were reversed, there is a silver lining in having my husband be the big weight-loss winner.  He may get the new clothes but I get something even better - blissful nights of uninterrupted sleep. Turns out losing weight made him quit snoring.  Who'd have guessed?


*Dr. Thompson's newest book, The Sugar Blockers Diet, outlines an even easier plan.  I'd tell you here, but I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Jerry the Good Witch

We have a neighborhood Halloween party tonight and Jerry has selfishly declared that he is going to be Glinda the Good Witch yet again. 

This story starts the summer three years ago on a Saturday morning.  I love to go saling (yard saling) and that is where I found THE DRESS.  I stumbled across this fabulous costume at a school fundraising sale and it was priced to sell, too.  I was sooooo excited!  All little girls dream of being beautiful princesses, don't they?  I certainly did and still do, so a pink dress made of thousands of yards of tulle with silver sparkles and puffy sleeves really spoke to me.  The tag inside said "one size fits all" and that clinched it for me.  I bought my prize and brought it home.

The thrill was short-lived because when I tried on Glinda's gown, I couldn't zip it all the way.  Now this brought up a disturbing question.  If "one size" truly "fits all" then where does that leave me?  I will be the first to admit that I could use to lose a few pounds, but I've never shopped at the big girls' shops, either.  Truth is, I consider myself mildly overweight, not morbidly obese.  Clearly the Chinese factory worker didn't agree - and compared to her I probably am pretty danged big - but this outfit had English writing on the tag, so obviously it was meant for an American audience.  The dress was about a foot too long for me so I know it wasn't made for a child either.

Halloween rolled around.  Our daughter Jessica and her new husband Brent came to help pass out candy.  I dressed Brent up as a flashy pimp.  He wore a bright red vest with sequins and a huge blue hat with an ostrich feather.  He wasn't too enthused about getting dressed up but after he saw how cool he looked, he kind of got into it.  I made Jessica "his girl" with a mink stole and a long sexy gown.  Since I couldn't wear my outfit because it wouldn't zip, I wore my default costume, Little Red Riding Hood holding the basket full of candy.  It's cute but been there, done that. We were scrounging around for something for Jerry to wear when I had one of those light bulb moments.  He could put on Glinda's outfit and I'd sew the back shut for him.  That is exactly what I did, so I only have myself to blame.

It was about then that the fun started.  When he got outside, our neighbor saw him and brought over a blond wig and a sash like Miss America wears.  His costume was the hit of the evening.  Everyone commented on it, several moms got their picture taken with him and he was having a blast getting all the attention.  Red riding hood, the pimp and his girl could have been invisible for all that anybody noticed us. 

Some of the littlest kids wouldn't even come up our sidewalk to get candy because the sight of Glinda/Jerry so disturbed them. One little girl said, "Mommy, why is that man dressed like a lady?"  She replied, "It's Halloween, honey.  You can be whoever you want to be on Halloween!" 

I'm all for moments in the sun and we certainly got our money's worth out of that outfit, wringing out every ounce of fun we could.  Everyone enjoyed that Halloween and the pictures I took of Jerry as Glinda have surfaced all over facebook and even popped up as part of a presentation his boss did at work. When people see them, they laugh.

The problem is this:  I have lost ten pounds this year and now I can actually wear THE DRESS myself and zip it up.  This is a big deal for me so I feel I should get to be Glinda.  Jerry claims squatter's rights though and his trump card is that nobody in our new town has seen him in this costume yet.

One of us has to be the big man here and, in all honesty, he does look charming dressed in pink tulle.  Who could resist him?  He can wear the outfit one more time and I'll try not to begrudge him his fun.  He doesn't know it yet but I have even borrowed a wig, found a pink tiara (with marabou) and gotten a glittery silver wand for him to carry.  He will be the hit of the party, that's a given.

 As for me, I toyed with going as a munchkin - I've got that shortness thing going for me - but then I found myself the coolest witches' hat ever, made with velvet and feathers so I'm going as Elphaba (better known as the Wicked Witch of the West.)  As an added bonus, I have a wand that shoots blue lasers around the room so I will be able to cast real spells. As a final plus, everyone knows that dressing totally in black is slimming.

Happy Halloween.