Dear Mr. Tall and Dark

He's tall.  He's dark.  He has perfect eyesight.  He's a bit skinny and he has big feet but he's a good listener - although he doesn't retain much.  He prefers being outdoors by himself over being indoors with a group of strangers, or even friends for that matter.  You would call him a quiet man; he never butts into the conversations of others.  He's a rational individual, very left-brained.  He thinks with his head not his heart. People don't accuse him of being dramatic, either.
 

In my world, cute reptiles are few and far between.

I have never met Mr. Tall and Dark, yet I sense these things about him because of a sign I saw at the foot of the trail I walked on today.  It had his name and phone number on it and said he was a herpetologist.  (That's when I knew he was polar opposite of me.)  It further stated that he was counting reptiles in our area and we are to call him if we see any snakes.  (I couldn't read any more after that...)

Why anyone, a.n.y.o.n.e., would choose to count reptiles I can't fathom; the machinations of his mind are that different  from my own.  I do know this though: If this gentleman is waiting beside his phone for me to call him because I've spotted a snake, he waits in vain.

I will never be calling him.  If I see a snake, I will be too busy screaming and running to make any phone calls at all.