The lottery jackpot was $141 million dollars Saturday night and I'm pretty sure I've won. If so, in addition to buying my friends Linda and Dave a lakefront home (as I promised them I'd do), and giving my hairdresser Doreatha the best tip she's ever had in her life (because she's THAT good), I'm gonna find someone with excellent taste to buy my clothes for me. I tend to make bad garment choices so I could truly use professional guidance in this area of my life.
Earlier today I went to JC Penney because they are having a clearance sale on their summer merchandise. To me this makes no sense at all. Living east of Hell as I do, in my mind July is actually summer and so are August, September, October and a big slice of November too. It appears to me that Penney's is getting rid of the lightweight stuff way, way too soon but I was armed with a 10% discount coupon and the sale/coupon combo is difficult to resist, even for me.
What treasure did I find on the sale rack? A long-sleeved red tee-shirt that would be perfect to wear during the Christmas holidays. It was marked $.97. I asked the clerk if it was a pricing error and she assured me it was not. She said, "This is really old. It's from last winter." to which I (mentally) responded, "The newest stuff in my winter wardrobe is from last winter. The oldest stuff is from when I was in sixth grade. THAT is really old. THIS is really new. In fact, it's brand new. New doesn't get any newer than that."
I bought the tee-shirt, and yes, I used my 10% off coupon. I purchased an item that was under a dollar and I asked them to give me a ten-percent discount. I'm THAT woman.
I am having a fabulous life! I'm just not sure that winning all that lottery money is going to make my life that much better - but I've graciously decided I am willing to find out. If South Carolina is a state where you can collect your winnings anonymously, then you will never even know I won. Unless, of course, Linda and Dave invite you to their housewarming party.
Wednesday night we were coming back from a trip to Georgia when we drove into a ferocious thunderstorm. By the time it let up we were getting pretty hungry so we stopped in Greenville. As we got out of the car, the air felt crisp, clean, cool.
Greenville is a charming city and we were strolling through it looking into the windows of artsy little shops and deciding which restaurant we wanted to try. The longer we walked, the cooler the breeze seemed. Finally, I remarked to Jerry that I was chilly and wished I had a sweater.
He replied.......
.....wait for it......
......"It's 81 degrees out."
Slap me on the back and call me Bertha! My transformation is complete - I'm a Southern Girl now, y'all.
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| Can you see goosebumps? |
It's over a hundred degrees outside today and that is hot in anybody's book. When you open up the front door, you feel like you are stepping into an oven. It's the third day in a row we've been under a heat advisory.
Here's a little reality check: It is July and I am in South Carolina. What, exactly, did I expect July to be like here? To be honest, all of the buildings I visit and all of the cars I ride in have air conditioning. That's a big reason to be grateful and I am.
Yesterday I had the bad judgment to take my niece to play croquet at eleven in the morning. When we got back home an hour later, she threw up. She doesn't tolerate heat well -- fortunately (for her) she lives in Michigan and their brutally hot season is short.
Unfortunately (for me) she has a facebook account and so the entire thirteen-year-old population of America knows of my error in judgment. She didn't even bother to mention that her team won.
Croquet is played on a field and a field, by definition, is devoid of trees. That should have been my first clue. This is a big problem for shade-loving mammals (in this case me and my niece. Good grammar dictates that I should write "my niece and me" but I am flaunting convention and sticking with my choice of "me and my niece" - it's my story after all. If you want hers, just look on facebook.)
Today we are staying inside and eating ice cream for lunch. Not with lunch, as lunch.
The lottery jackpot was $141 million dollars Saturday night and I'm pretty sure I've won. If so, in addition to buying my friends Linda and Dave a lakefront home (as I promised them I'd do), and giving my hairdresser Doreatha the best tip she's ever had in her life (because she's THAT good), I'm gonna find someone with excellent taste to buy my clothes for me. I tend to make bad garment choices so I could truly use professional guidance in this area of my life.
