I Quit Sugar!

I quit sugar!

Sure I did. In my dreams. I am eating a lot, lot less of it these days but if you live in America and eat out ever, you are gonna eat sugar - salad dressing, marinara sauce, soup, ketchup.  Oh it's there.  Hiding in everything.  Virtually all processed foods also include the white stuff.

The first thing that happens when I go cold turkey is that I get a headache. It lasts for three days. I realize that this is withdrawal but that doesn't make me feel better.  Headaches are no fun at all.  

Next I have strong cravings. I crave lots of different foods but what they all have in common is sweetness. This is excruciating because a stalk of celery is not satisfying when what you really want a big bowl full of Breyers and I can't even put peanut butter on it because - you guessed it - mine has sugar in it.

It takes three full weeks before I realize something amazing is happening. My food now tastes delicious and flavorful. Fruit tastes sweet. Really sweet.  Some foods taste saltier too.  Really salty.  I didn't expect that.

Finally, I understand when people eat a bite of dessert and say, “It's too sweet to eat.” I always thought that these people were twisted show-offs needing attention. I now realize I was probably born addicted. I feel liberated.

But this is America. Here we celebrate with junk food. Halloween comes. I eat three mini-Snickers and a Butterfingers. I try not to beat myself up. The next morning I don't feel so good. Hmmm....

I'm a slow learner.  Thanksgiving comes. Pie.

Airport candy bowl

Christmas is THE WORST. My sister comes and makes homemade peanut brittle. I cave.  

Summer's here.  The holidays are long gone. I've been back on the wagon a while but lately I've been eating a piece of very dark chocolate after meals for its “health benefits." Still, it's only one piece.  And it's supposedly healthy for you.  See how easily I can rationalize?  It's a talent, really.

Dove came out with a dark chocolate dipped dried cherry. I bought a bag at WalMart. I told myself I'd only eat one piece a day after a meal.

In the parking lot, I ripped open the bag. I ate three pieces. The next day, I look at the nutritional information on the side of the bag. It says there are four servings inside. I look inside the bag. There is one cherry left and a few chocolate shards.

So much for quitting sugar.

www.StillSwimmingUpstream.com

Meat

You may have an image in your mind of a vegetarian as a skinny little emaciated person.  Well, I've been a vegetarian for thirty-five years now and I'm here to tell ya I haven't been able to wear my skinny jeans since early '76.  What motivated me to make this choice?  Eating meat seems icky to me so I don't do it.  End of story. 

For this - and other off-beat decisions - my family and friends may think I am a weirdo, but they tolerate me anyway so it's all good.  Over the last decade vegetarianism has become more mainstream, but its popularity hasn't made it any easier to get untainted food.


Beef broth lurks in vegetable soup

Meat lurks everywhere.  Tomato basil soup?  Chicken stock.  Cheddar broccoli soup?  Ditto. The artichoke dip has crab meat in it.  The spinach balls are made with sausage, the mushrooms are stuffed with ground beef. Get the picture?  In Spain they even put ham in their potato chips.  Meat.  Meat.  Meat.  Meat.  It's everywhere, in
everything.  Argh!!

Even after all this time, my decision remains a social challenge.  We went to dinner at the home of very close friends and our hostess proudly served us homemade beef stew. "You can just pick the meat out," she said.  I hear that a lot.   

Yesterday I went to a luncheon where I offered to "brown bag" it.  I was assured this would not be necessary because there would be a salad served.  This not being my first rodeo, I specifically asked if there would be bacon bits in it and was told not to worry.  Indeed, there was no need for concern.  There was no bacon in the salad.  It did, however, come with two inches of shredded turkey on top.
After thirty-five years, salad isn't all that thrilling anyway.  Too bad there wasn't dessert.  You can't go wrong with a good dessert!  This attitude might explain the reason why I haven't ever been able to fit back into those skinny jeans.

Anyone for rocky road ice cream or perhaps a brownie à la mode?