When Hell Freezes Over

Dad is a colorful man and nowhere is that more apparent than in his speech.  "When Hell freezes over" was one of his favorite sayings when I was growing up.  I just hope he remembers telling me that because...


As everyone knows, I now live east of Hell in a place that is so hot in the summer that sweat, like tears, will pour down your face as you sit in air conditioning doing nothing more strenuous than, well, sitting.  Imagine my surprise last Saturday evening when it started to snow, snow and snow! A day later we had six inches on the ground.  Then it happened.  Snow turned to rain, then as temperatures dropped, freezing rain hit the snow-covered ground. 


Voila!  Hell (and everywhere north, south, east and west of it) has frozen over.  The trees look like they are straight out of a Currier and Ives print and the ground crunches as you walk.  It's truly beautiful.  Treacherous, but beautiful.


...I am so excited!  When will my pony be arriving?

Africa Hot

I'm trying to figure out how to describe the weather in my new state without sounding whiny. When I first arrived here in mid-May, it was already blazing outside and I told pretty much everyone I knew on the planet (and even a few strangers) how I felt about it. "If it's this hot in May, what will August be like?" I said one too many times. Turns out that this line of thought was irritating my husband more than a sore tooth. I had to stop.

I decided upon the phrase "Africa hot." It's descriptive and yet not offensive. I liked how it sounded when I said it, kind of perky and cute, a cheerleader of description. It also had the added plus of not annoying hubby. That in itself is reason enough to adopt it, so I did.

Yesterday, I was standing in my kitchen and a tear rolled down my cheek. Only I wasn't crying - it was sweat. And, I did mention that I was inside, didn't I?

Perhaps Africa hot is not accurate enough. From now on, maybe I'll just say I live east of Hell.